Saying Yes…To The Present

The other day, I was thinking about what it means to be alive. I came to think about it because the sort of life that I am leading is often made up of me looking at my watch at periodic intervals. Thus, my life is determined by the passing of time. People talk about freedom of action but freedom can also be found in accepting where you find yourself in life. After all, if you keep fighting of the present, you are bound to the past and thus one’s level of freedom is limited. I see others around me and what I admire the most is that they are saying yes to the current moment. Many do this by carrying out each act with utmost confidence – be it walking through the corridor or just walking to lunch. Maybe, there is truth in the fact that each act that I carry out in a way leads to my destiny. Another form of this thinking lies in the fact that each thought of yours ultimately makes who you are. Why should I fight who I am? The question is so rhetorical but sometimes I tend to fight who I am – I don’t act to my fullest potential and neither do I act out in the best manner possible. I believe in being submissive or even, I let others take center stage. The result, at the end of the day is the same – I hide who I am from others and or brush others the wrong way. What hurts is that it is taking me so long to realize that I when I don’t act to my full potential – only I get hurt. Only, I lose out on friendships and opportunities. The rest of the world carries on but it is I who bear the brunt in terms of the consequences of my actions. Many times of my life, I looked back on earlier times and never truly understood how much more beautiful the present. Now, I truly realize looking back on the times when I looked back that my mistake first and foremost was looking back. I say this at at a time when I truly have reached a situation where the past was better but I swear to myself that for now, I will truly live in the present and make do with what I have now, lest that goes away too.